We all have baggage. It's like carrying around this huge bag stuffed with the culmination of all our experiences, all the stuff we picked up along the way. In my bag are also all the things my parents carried around and passed on to me, stuff my grandparents passed on to them, and so on. It's gotten pretty heavy over the years.
I am learning how to take a look at what's in my bag and decide if it's serving me. I can decide to let it go. Sounds easy to my adult self. Have you ever tried to clean house with a child? Trying to go through old clothes and toys to see what is no longer needed. What needs to be trashed? What can be donated for someone else to use? I make 3 piles- keep, trash and donate. Every time I turn around something I placed in the trash or donate pile is back in the keep pile. The kids simply can't let that item go. They think they might need it or it has memories attached or they simply can't imagine what life looks like without that item. This is what happens with my inner child when I try to let it go. And anyone that knows the powerlessness of trying to rationalize with a child knows that rationalizing doesn't work. Rationalizing can only get me so far. I need a new way. I can't do this on my own. This is why I need support. This is why I need to keep working on my stuff. Because sometimes my bag gets too heavy and I take a peek in my bag to find I didn't let go. I put it back in the keep pile. And more often than not, there's stuff in my bag that doesn't even belong to me. Like the guilt and shame of someone else. My bag is heavy enough, thank-you
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We've all been there. Something just happened that pissed us right off and we immediately start 'shoulding' on ourselves. I 'should' know better.... I 'should' look for the blessings. I know I'm out of alignment and need to fix this ASAP! I know I'm triggered and this is MY stuff. Bottom line: I 'shouldn't' feel this way. And yet we do. We feel it viscerally and the more we shove it away or avoid or distract, the more it screams "Pay attention to me!!" The same way you can't slap a happy face sticker on dog poop and call it good, you can't bury an emotion by rationalizing or avoiding or distraction. E-motion=energy in motion. So what happens when we 'should' on ourselves or avoid or distract? The emotion comes to a halt. It becomes stagnant in our Being- exactly what we are trying to avoid! So what can you do? I'm not asking you to live in it. Don't welcome it in to stay. Just for now, follow the emotion. Where do you feel it in your body? Give it a name. Share it with a safe person. Find a way of release that works for you. Get it out of your body. Write an anger letter, scream, go for a run, hit a pillow. You'll know it works for you because you will feel it. Anger may turn into tears. Go with it. You'll also know when you're done. You will feel the release. Then it's time for The Rise. Now you can feel for the next loving thought and work your way up the emotional scale. But first, the release. |
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